Charlotte Jons is a first-year journalism major and writes “The Peanut Gallery” for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily reflect those of the newspaper.
What is your least favorite flavor in a traditional box of assorted chocolates? Some say it’s the dark chocolate with orange filling. People find the combination of citrus and dark chocolate to be overwhelming. Others claim it’s coconut-filled milk chocolates because of its bland profile or dry texture in comparison to other competitors.
Personally, my least favorite is the white chocolate. It’s typically just a little too sweet for me, and I would never reach for it when given other options.
Last year, as a high school senior, I spent February making dinner reservations in study hall, researching baked good recipes through AP test prep and trying on every single shade of pink and red clothing that I could get my hands on.
This year, I still have my same sweet tooth and love for a romantic February wardrobe, but I’m not making dinner reservations for Feb. 14. In my best estimate, I’ll spend that day on Facetime in my heart-covered college dorm room — thirteen hours away from my partner of almost three years.
This year, Valentine’s Day felt like being given a heart-shaped box of chocolates, only to remove the lid and reveal its contents: wrappers filled with only white chocolate.
According to Easelly, “Do long distance relationships work?” remains one of the top relationship queries on Google.
In February, this topic becomes a much more intense one, with millions of people attempting to navigate the holiday of romance without their loved ones nearby. “Call me” becomes more than just a Conversation Heart candy slogan printed onto sugar — it becomes the complete content of date nights.
Easelly and their infographics give us clear numbers in case that’s hard to visualize: Currently, there are 14 million couples who claim they’re in a long-distance relationship (LDR).
The same site details that 40 percent of LDRs will come to an end.
As of Aug. 2024, I am a part of the optimistic 14 million. I go to Ball State University while my boyfriend attends Worcester Polytechnic Institute in Worcester, Massachusetts. We, like the 32.5 percent of college LDRs, per Survive LDR, were high school sweethearts before our relationship became long-distance. We were both determined to leave our graduation state of Ohio in search of the best education for our respective fields.
This meant beginning the 13-hour, 880-mile relationship that we have navigated for almost a full academic year now.
Survive LDR details that only a mere two percent of high school sweethearts last through college, whether they are long-distance or attending the same university. This, along with the emotional pain of missing someone dear to you, the balance of your own academics, and the many horror stories from peers of their own failed long-distance relationships, can put an immense amount of emotional pressure on modern participants.
It is also important to recognize that LDRs aren’t always a romantic partnership. I, as well as many others I know, remain in touch with many of my close friends from my former stages of life, despite our different locations.
And with “Galentines” becoming a coined term born in the 2010s, referring to predominantly single women spending Valentine’s Day together and celebrating their personal independence as well as their friendship, long-distance friendships are just as applicable to dissect as the romantic ones during this time of year.
With the scary statistics and numerous downsides, it’s really not hard to see why the arrangement of an LDR gets vilified and stereotyped time and time again. Everyone has their own opinion on long distance. Some see the cons as outweighing the pros, with the printed “miss you” Conversation Heart catchphrase not standing strong enough to make it worth it.
For me, I personally find beauty in two people being willing to wait for each other from hours away. Unfortunately, optimism doesn’t make today’s holiday perfect for LDR couples.
Valentine’s Day can look different from year to year for all kinds of reasons: loss, new relationships, new independence or breakups, career changes, financial changes and long distance from anyone you love. The holiday’s appearance takes many forms, like any other measure of time passing.
I have felt many mixed feelings regarding the holiday this year. I have always been a romantic person, adoring the romanticism of all the little details that make up my life. For me, Valentine’s Day is the ultimate commemoration of gratitude for everything I love.
At first, I wondered if I was less than because I didn’t have an in-person date or romantic plans this year, which was a big difference from my last few holidays. Then, I developed anxiety regarding the entire situation that, admittedly, hasn’t subsided entirely.
Was I not doing enough? Was there more I could do to make it special for us?
These open and concerned phrases faded into general disappointment. Oh, I would catch myself thinking, this is just the way it goes this year. This sucks!
And it does! But it really does not have to entirely.
If you relate to me or my story at all, I really implore you to push yourself out of your sulk. As for the majority of life’s situational avenues, there is no single correct answer or best thing to do. Despite this, I would love to encourage a rebirth of appreciation for the day, even if it is one that feels different or sad for you for any number of reasons.
A simple Google search of “Valentine's Day for long-distance relationships” will reward you with a million examples of ways to make your partner feel special on the holiday.
For me, handwritten cards are a favorite. For my boyfriend, Doordashing flowers or sweets has been a go-to. Facetime or online dinners can also be successful if you are in the same time zone. You can hold cozy movie nights, and play video games together. Even a simple call at the end of a long day can be rewarding.
I found many lengthy articles filled with gift and date ideas for every type of relationship. There are also numerous community lead pages, such as Reddit or Quora, filled with long-distance couples and friends sharing what they have learned regarding Valentine’s Day from so far away. In situations like these, the best ideas can come from the relatable resources around you. Hearing words of encouragement or potential solutions from those who may have once been, or are currently in, a similar situation as you may be exactly what you need.
If you are currently struggling this February or spring, I hope you can recognize that everything is temporary. Outside of pleasing your partner, friends, or other loved ones this Valentine’s Day, take the time to celebrate with yourself. Get that complicated, expensive coffee shop drink you wanted. Compliment someone’s outfit. Spend an extra ten minutes in the shower and use all your fancy soap. Decorate. Wear pink.
Valentine’s Day looks different for everyone. No matter what it looks like to you, live it entirely. If you are missing your partner, especially this month, I see you and I understand. Allow yourself to love everything despite that.
Whatever kinds of candy your Valentine’s Day chocolate box contains this year, I hope you try them all, even if you think you won’t love them. I hated the orange-filled chocolates when I was younger, but now I love the flavors. Sometimes you just have to stick through it and try the whole lot.
Contact Charlotte Jons via email charlotte.jons@bsu.edu.
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