OXFORD, Ohio – The motto Ball State field hockey lived by heading into its Mid-American Conference (MAC) Tournament match was the same as it has been for the past three matches prior to Wednesday morning: Do or die.
Graduate student goalkeeper Hannah Johnston said a nervous, yet excited energy hung around the Cardinals from the moment they stepped foot in Oxford, Ohio, for their first round contest against Kent State. That vibe permeated Johnston and seven other Cardinals more than anyone.
For eight of 11 Ball State starters, the red and white’s next loss would mark the end of their collegiate field hockey careers, and the odds were not stacked in the Cardinals’ favor.
Ball State (5-13, 4-4 MAC) was trying to break a streak of nine straight losses in the MAC Tournament, not having won a tournament match since 2006. More specifically, the Cardinals’ opponent Kent State (7-11, 5-3 MAC) beat them 1-0 in the regular season, and the Golden Flashes had defeated Ball State in 15 straight matches, dating back to 2011.
The Cardinals found a slight confidence boost Tuesday afternoon when junior midfielder Emma van Hal was named First Team All-MAC Tuesday, while Johnston earned second team distinction. However, the same was true for Kent State because sophomore midfielder Eva Usoz was named to the first team, and senior midfielder Agustina Florio was named to the second team. The Golden Flashes also saw forward Delfina Larripa and goalkeeper Lieve Jansen earn All-Freshman Team honors.
The stars shone in Wednesday’s match as Johnston saved 11 shots, van Hal led the Cardinals in shots with two and Usoz led the Golden Flashes in the same category with eight. Ball State head coach Caitlin Walsh was frustrated with the defense’s lack of discipline within the scoring circle in the first half, as the Cardinals allowed nine penalty corners through the first 30 minutes.
But Ball State turned things around both defensively and offensively in the second half, earning its first shot of the match halfway through the third period. The Cardinals only finished with five shots, but their stout defense to keep the Golden Flashes out of the cage on their first 22 shots sent the match to overtime.
Though Ball State looked aggressive at the start of the extra period, Walsh knew the end was near with about five minutes left when the Kent State offense took possession near midfield.
“I kind of had this weird feeling as I started watching it develop, kind of anticipating something happening,” Walsh said. “Your heart just sinks.”
Johnston tried to make her 12th save of the match when senior midfielder Bella Carpenter pushed toward the cage, but the goalkeeper said the ball was just out of her reach when she saw Carpenter’s shot sneak past her for the match-winner.
“Initially it’s like, ‘Ope. That’s it. It’s done,’” Johnston said. “My whole life has been around field hockey, and so now it's like, ‘Alright, what's next? What doors are gonna open?’”
Graduate student midfielder Emma Hilton and defender Michaela Graney were near the goal, and immediately dropped into a crouch once they realized Ball State’s fate. Both cried, as did every other Cardinal whose career came to an end in that moment, and fifth-year midfielder Rachel Bohn found each of the seniors and gave them long hugs.
Johnston did not believe Ball State lost, but rather, got beat. The difference was that Johnston felt there was no more effort the Cardinals could have exerted to stop a Golden Flashes victory.
Walsh felt the same. Her voice never cracked, and her expression hardly changed. But a few minutes after the match’s end, Walsh lifted her hand to wipe away tears welling up in her eye.
She described Ball State’s contest against Kent State as a “roller coaster of emotions,” during which she fed off her players’ energy just as much as they fed off hers.
“It was a mixture of everything,” Walsh said. “Obviously, they're feeling the emotions of the loss, and for some of them having their careers over, but for the most part, it was just appreciation for each other.”
And the Cardinals have appreciation for Walsh, too. Seeing their head coach jump up and down on the sideline when Ball State is successful helped players realize that Walsh has changed the culture surrounding the field hockey program.
It especially hit home for players like Rengifo, for whom Walsh is their second – and last – head coach during their long tenure suiting up for the red and white.
“Seeing the emotions from her really means a lot, because you're not just one player that is coming and going; we matter to her, which makes you feel seen,” Rengifo said.
Walsh said the 2024 campaign was a season defined by growth and progress, culminating with a MAC Tournament berth. Even in the loss Wednesday, Walsh said the Cardinals’ growth was evident from their ability to string passes together, press down the field and create scoring opportunities in the second half that didn’t come in the first 30 minutes.
While Ball State accomplished its ultimate goal of reaching the MAC Tournament for the first time since 2022, the season was not always joyous on a personal level. Some may have been able to tell by the heavy tape she sported on her right leg during all 18 matches, but Rengifo confirmed Wednesday that she played through the entire season in pain.
She isn’t the only one, but her season was not supposed to be that way. Rengifo underwent meniscus surgery in the offseason in hopes of a healthy fifth season at Ball State.
That didn’t happen. While she grew up in Spain, Rengifo saw her mother push through pain, too; especially if it stood in the way of one of her goals.
Rengifo played through discomfort in both legs during every practice, game, workout or rehab session in pursuit of a fulfilling last hurrah with a program that helped her achieve her dream of playing collegiate field hockey in America. When Rengifo was given the option three weeks ago of getting a platelet-rich plasma (PRP) injection to help heal her legs faster, she was at a crossroads.
If she took the injections, her final season would have ended prematurely, even if it would have made her road to recovery easier. Rengifo declined.
“It was a big mental and physical effort to say, ‘Okay, I'm gonna push through no matter what,’” Rengifo said. “Today, before we started the game, I was like, ‘This could be my last game ever, so I don't want to leave regretting not giving my best. If I get injured here, I will.’”
However, Rengifo said physical pain was not the biggest obstacle standing in her way prior to Wednesday’s MAC Tournament match. Since Tuesday, Oct. 29, her home country has faced its deadliest natural disaster of the century as flash floods have killed more than 200 citizens, according to the Associated Press.
Rengifo has been conflicted since news broke, trying everything she can from more than 4,000 miles away. Monday, Rengifo took to Ball State field hockey’s Instagram story to provide relief resources in hopes that Cardinal fans would donate to helping her home country recover.
She still doesn’t feel like she has done enough.
“The fact that I can't do physical work and be there hurts me,” Rengifo said. “I feel really guilty for being here and trying to be happy … I feel very useless.”
She advised people to help by donating to convoyofhope.eu and fundacionaltius.org.
Rengifo believed other Cardinals came into Wednesday pushing aside other outside worries, such as the fact that the season could end any given day. As Ball State lined up for pre-match introductions, Rengifo was on the verge of tears.
Just before the match began, Hilton took her role as team captain to heart and addressed the Cardinals. She encouraged them to push their troubles to the side for just two hours, because it may be the last time they get the chance to take the pitch together.
Rengifo said Hilton’s message struck a chord with the Cardinals and motivated them to push Wednesday’s match to overtime. Even in defeat, Rengifo’s time with her teammates won’t come to an end until she graduates in December.
“It’s the girls who pull me back in,” Rengifo said. “We need to enjoy the time that we have left, because as much as I love having my friends from the other side of the world, it sucks because I don't know when is the next time I'll get to see them.”
Since August, Rengifo, Hilton, Johnston, Graney, Bohn, Nadia Briddell, Jenna Wyckoff and Maya Guinn have spoken at length about what their final season means to them. Johnston made it clear that the senior class’s message did not change despite a 2024 season that was far from perfect.
“Yes, sports are about wanting to play, wanting to win and that pure, competitive edge, but I'm focusing so much on that I'm so thankful for this team,” Johnston said. “I'm so thankful for the opportunities that I got from Ball State … I'm just so proud that I got to represent this team for five years.”
Contact Kyle Smedley via email at kmsmedley213@gmail.com or via X @KyleSmedley_.
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