by Daniel O'Connell Fantasy Island was a staple of 1970s television. It starred the late great Ricardo Montalban as the enigmatic yet charismatic Mr. Roarke, who oversees a mysterious island in the Pacific Ocean. On the show, Roarke and his sidekick Tattoo (Hervé Villechaize) would offer guests to come and live out their fantasies—for a price. Oftentimes these fantasies would be used to help the guests learn a lesson, come to terms with something in their past, or just become better people. While the show would be considered campy by today’s standards, it is still fondly remembered as a classic. Flashforward 42 years later, and reboots and remakes of old television properties are all the rage. That means some idiotic Hollywood executive thought that it would be a great idea to take a property like Fantasy Island and reboot it into a horror movie. Helmed by the infamous Blumhouse Productions and directed by Jeff Wadlow (who directed both Kick Ass 2 and the hilariously bad Truth or Dare), Fantasy Island brings a fantasy that’ll have you bored to tears. The film follows your standard plot of an episode of Fantasy Island: Mr. Roarke (this time played by Michael Peña) entertains five guests that come to his island to fulfill their fantasies. Melanie Cole (Lucy Hale) wants revenge on a childhood bully, Patrick Sullivan (Austin Stowell) wants to enlist in war to honor his late father, Gwen Olsen (Maggie Q) wants to accept a marriage proposal she rejected years ago, and step brothers J.D. (Ryan Hansen) and Brax Weaver (Jimmy O. Yang) want to party it up. However, things take a sinister turn as the fantasies continue on.
Incredibly subpar performances
Lame horror and confusing tones
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