Scott Fleener is a freshman telecommunications major and writes “Headstrong" for the Daily News. His views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper. Write to Scott at jsfleener@bsu.edu.
Halloween is almost here, and with that comes lots of parties on college campuses. If you find yourself at one of these spooky celebrations there are two things you are more likely than not to find: Alcohol and costumes. There will be costumes of all kinds: spooky costumes, costumes of heroes, ironic costumes only your friends will get. And then there will be those costumes that reveal a little more of the person than the rest of the costumes. A little more skin, a little more confidence.
And there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. But what is wrong is how people, particularly men, act around those who choose to wear less.
This isn’t going to be about empowerment or why it’s totally cool to be whatever you want to be. This is a call out to my fellow men out there to step up, get involved and stop sexual assault in its tracks this holiday.
We all have heard things like “She was asking for it. Did you see how she was dressed?” and other such nonsense that only furthers rape culture, especially in a college setting. People like dressing in a variety of ways and it isn’t always to impress someone else. Sometimes they just want to wear it to wear it, or because they feel good about themselves in that costume.
Just because someone is dressed like a bunny or a devil, to name a few common examples, in less clothing than someone else doesn’t mean they want to do anything with you. And it’s definitely not an excuse to take advantage of them or give any unwanted attention.
Now I’m not saying the people who are going to parties, including myself, can’t have fun. Anything consensual is a great thing and it will no doubt be a night to remember, but if you deviate from consent even a little it becomes a major problem.
Self awareness is a crucial trait as an adult and being drunk is not an excuse to throw that out the window. People may or may not be drinking this Halloween. People may or may not be wearing a little less clothing than they normally would. People may or may not start talking to another romantic interest. But everyone should be aware of what they are doing.
Just because she is dressed in less does not mean she is down for sex.
Just because she is flirting does not mean she is down for sex.
Just because she goes home with you does not mean she is down for sex.
Just because she makes out with you, and say this with me, does not mean she is down for sex.
If you are unsure if she wants to do something with you or not, ask.
When people are at a party, having good situational awareness is key. The phrase “See something, say something” holds true, especially at parties like the ones around Halloween.
While I know it can be hard to get involved as a bystander, especially if it’s a friend acting inappropriately, your intervention could prevent a lifetime of trauma. According to the Bystander Intervention page under Campus Life on Ball State’s website, speaking up, causing a distraction or staying with a person who appears to be intoxicated are some of the ways you can prevent sexual assault. Of course if you believe the danger of an assault is imminent then you should call 911.
Have fun this Halloween. Don’t just sit in your room and stare at the walls. Maybe go to a pumpkin patch, or pass out candy to trick-or-treaters. What you do does not even have to include going to a party or drinking, you can have fun without those things as well. But if you are going to be in a party setting, there is no excuse to sexually assault someone. Regardless of how they are dressed or acting, with or without alcohol’s influence.
I’ll be out too. Most likely in costume and drinking. But if there is anything I’ve learned in my 23 years of life it's to be self aware, have situational awareness and most importantly step up. Everyone deserves a fun and safe Halloween, regardless of how they may be dressed. Just because she is dressed in less than everyday normal attire does not mean she wants to be with you. So if you see something, say something.
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