NOT YOUR AVERAGE JONES: What a week of living biblically taught me

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Melissa Jones is a sophomore creative writing major and writes 'Not Your Average Jones' for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily reflect those of the newspaper. Write to Melissa at mdjones7@bsu.edu.

Melissa Jones

Note: The following in no way reflects my religious beliefs

I’m not sure what I expected to get out of the experiment. The feeling of purity? Rejuvenation? A sense of godliness? Whatever the result, I was eager to try to follow all the rules in the Bible — both the Old Testament and the New Testament — as best I could for one week. Author and journalist A.J. Jacobs did it for a year, so, surely, I could do it for a week.

Luckily, a few of the rules were pretty easy for me to follow. I did not kill (James 2:11), I never tripped anyone (Romans 14:13), no one called me “master” (Matthew 23:10) and I, rather unfortunately, never consulted wizards (Leviticus 19:31).

Not everything was that easy to follow, though. For example, I, sadly, never found the time to feed and give water to my enemies (Romans 12:20). On top of that, there were five biblical statements that I found especially challenging to obey.

“Avoid profane and vain babbling” (1 Timothy 6:20)

I was shocked at how difficult this was for me to follow, as I never saw myself as one who gossips constantly. But only after focusing on not gossiping did I realize just how prominent “vain babbling” is in my life, whether the words come from my mouth or I just merely listen to my friends spew them. My biblical week definitely made me question the point of all the gossiping present in my life.

 “Be not slothful” (Hebrews 6:12)

As an avid procrastinator and one who values the preciousness of sleep far too much, it was incredibly difficult to avoid being slothful. On the first night of my experiment, I was slothful in business when I waited until 11 p.m. to start a large homework assignment that was due the following day. On almost every other day of my biblical week, I was slothful in waking up in the morning. Needless to say, my slothfulness definitely has room for improvement.

 “Thou shalt not covet” (Romans 13:9)

If anyone is truly able to live without a yearning to have other things in life, I am sincerely impressed. Nearly everywhere I looked during the week, I found myself wanting things I didn’t have. The world of online shopping definitely didn’t help me with this, as giving up shopping online was an extremely difficult task, even if it did prolong the life of my checking account.

“Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk” (Exodus 23:19)

I never realized this was in the Bible until I began my research for this biblical week. As one who enjoys a good cheeseburger every now and then, you can imagine my disappointment when I learned I could no longer eat meat and dairy products together. For the most part, I did well with this — I settled for a hamburger rather than my usual cheeseburger when the time came. However, this rule completely escaped my mind when I went home for the weekend and devoured my mom’s home-cooked meal, which contained both chicken and cheese. Sticking to all the guidelines in the Bible required much more conscious thinking than I had anticipated.

“Put a knife to your throat if you are given to appetite” (Proverbs 23:2)

If the seven deadly sins were, in fact, deadly, gluttony would have killed me by the end of the week. The brownie cupcakes in Noyer enticed me with their freshly baked smell and prim icing on the first day, and I gave in far too easily. Karma got to me later, though, when I sat in my room slightly sick to my stomach from consuming so much. I was gluttonous again when I ate at The Retreat later in the week, where the vanilla ice cream cones reminded me of summer, which I promptly relived twice that night.

Before I started this experiment, I wasn’t sure what I would get out of it, but what I did get out of it was this: Whether you’re religious or not, being “perfect” (Matthew 5:48) is impossible. It’s important to realize that people have different beliefs and paths when it comes to being the best person they can be, and no matter what those may be, we will all struggle to follow them perfectly. And that’s okay.

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