Elizabeth Bolinger sat on one side of the long and narrow L.A. Pittenger Student Center meeting room. She faced a row of different hair colors: red, blue, blue, purple and blue. Bolinger's hair, long and carefully curled, was an unmistakable natural brown.
The nervous auditionee stared at Olivia Germann, this year’s director of Ball State’s annual "Rocky Horror Picture Show" performance. About 40 students audition each year and a little more than a thousand go to see the performance.
Outside, Bolinger looked calm. Inside, her mind churned.
“I can tell in five seconds whether you’re good or not,” Germann said.
But Bolinger wasn’t sure she’d fit that expectation.
“I’m extremely intimidated,” she said.
Earlier, 30 minutes at the most, Bolinger had entered the room housing the "Rocky Horror" audition workshop. She had been alone, but bubbly, unsure of what to expect–—the stereotype of the eager freshman sorority-girl she is.
“If you’ve ever seen 'Grease,' I’m just like Sandy,” she said later. “Like, that is me. She and I are one.”
Bolinger watched "Rocky Horror" for the first time as a child and it scared her, but an obsessed friend and a 2010 "Glee" episode reintroduced her to the campy, 1975 cult-classic. Bolinger heard about the "Rocky Horror" showings and shadow casts, but none happened in her town of Auburn, Ind.
Shadow casts mimic the "Rocky Horror" movie during showings. Performers dress up and dance as if they were the actual characters, all while silently mouthing the dialogue and lyrics.
Two months after Bolinger arrived at Ball State, she attended her first showing with her sorority friends in tow.
Bolinger’s companions watched the movie, but they left the show calling it weird. Bolinger left knowing she wanted to be in it.
The idea of auditioning floated in the back of Bolinger's mind for months, but her resolve returned in full force when she received an email about auditions. She wanted to be Janet.
While Bolinger talked about the audition, she sounded like a motivational post from Facebook or a main character from a grand, come-back type of movie. Her bravado was genuine.
“I know I can do this, and I know I can prove them wrong, and I know I can prove to them I can do it,” she said. “I just really want a chance. I’m going to do it and prove everybody wrong.”
"Them” and “everybody” are people from her hometown––the people she went to high school with. Bolinger had inserted herself into every performance related activity she could in school, but she came from a place where a last name got you the lead role and some flattery received a solo. It surprised everyone, she said, when she managed to land a decent part in her senior year theater production.
“I did it by myself,” she said. No butt-kissing involved.
Receiving the role was a big accomplishment for Bolinger, but she wanted to move onto something bigger. For Bolinger, that something is the role of Janet.
Janet’s character is distinct. She begins the movie as the innocent fiancée of Brad Majors. Eventually, she experiences a sexual awakening. In one scene, she appears in a bra.
It can be hard to find a student able to play both Janet’s sweet side and sultry one, Germann said.
Bolinger knows some people would be surprised to see her bear it all if she got the part. She gestured towards her black leggings and long-sleeved shirt. It’s her go-to outfit she said. She doesn’t even feel comfortable in a bikini.
No one would expect Bolinger to audition for Janet let alone get the part, she said.
At the workshop, Bolinger ran through her audition scene four times. At one point, she performed right next to the girl who had played Janet the previous year.
It was during that run-through when Bolinger messed up. An arm went where it shouldn’t have, or a longing gaze ended too soon. It wasn’t obvious, but Bolinger noticed. She fretted about it afterwards, but promised to practice the part any spare second she could before the audition.
“I’m going to be prepared,” she said before walking out of the Student Center and back to her Woodworth dorm room.
Bolinger has a good luck charm. It’s unofficial, she said, but she carried it during her last high school audition – the one that led to her proudest role.
The talisman is a picture of Bolinger with two friends – Dominique and Shannon. They’re professional performers who toured with the musical “Rock of Ages.”
On March 31, Bolinger reminded herself to tuck the photo in her purse before heading to auditions.
On April 1, Bolinger arrived at Carmichael Hall almost 15 minutes before auditions began. The photo remained on the wall of her dorm room, forgotten. Bolinger had been too focused on getting to auditions in time.
Bolinger was disappointed, but it didn’t take long for her to revert back to the optimistic attitude she had radiated on March 30.
“You gotta dream big,” she said. “Dream big. ‘Don’t stop believing.’ That’s my favorite song.”
Bolinger arrived before most of the other students, but the classroom quickly began to fill with other "Rocky Horror" hopefuls.
Volume levels swelled before Germann called for attention.
“Welcome to auditions,” she said. “Well, day one of auditions.”
When Germann's debriefing ended, Bolinger and the rest of the noisy crowd were ushered into narrow hallways and handed forms to fill out.
Bolinger whipped out a pink pen. It matched her shirt and eye shadow. She wrote her information carefully in bubbly, neat handwriting.
The form asked for a list of Bolinger’s performance experiences.
“Trying to count how many shows is too hard anymore,” said a girl across from Bolinger.
Bolinger listed her experience: just four high school musicals. She handed the form to a girl in charge of organizing the audition process.
“Does anyone not want to go first, because if not I’m going to start calling names,” the girl said as she looked at her stack of papers.
The first form was pink.
Bolinger knew it was hers before the girl could announce her name.
Bolinger walked through the door and to her spot in front of the audition room. She was ready, but her clip wasn’t ready yet.
“I can go from the beginning, it’s fine,” she said. “I know the beginning too.”
Bolinger didn’t have to. Her audition began where it was supposed to: 23 seconds into “Toucha-touch me.”
Bolinger did what she was supposed to – she followed Janet’s movements and imitated her facial expressions. And she stumbled.
It was one of those barely noticeable double takes where the only thing that gives it away is a grimace or a silently mouthed apology.
Bolinger recovered. It was minor, she still had time. And yet…
“Awesome. Thank you so, so much, Elizabeth,” Germann said.
Bolinger’s hours of practicing, waiting and worrying had culminated in a 46-second moment.
Bolinger’s pent-up nervous energy spilled out as she made her way out of the room. She talked quickly.
“I think it could’ve gone better,” she said. She listed the bad things first: she had forgotten to clip her hair back, her video accompaniment had started mid-sentence and it caught her off guard.
By the time Bolinger managed to escape from the building, she had started to relax. The sun dried up her remaining anxiety.
“I practiced all I could,” she said. “The moment’s passed, and now I just have to sit and wait.”
She laughed, but a sigh sneaked its way into the release.
“It’s kind of a really bad time to be impatient,” she said.
The cast list appeared on Facebook at 10:14 p.m., April 2.
The reactions came soon after: someone tagged a cast member in the comments, a newly named usherette left an excited response, another person got tagged.
Bolinger commented at 11:05 p.m.
Fifty-one minutes earlier, Bolinger had been at a recruitment workshop for her sorority. She wasn’t supposed to look at her phone, but she snuck a few quick peeks anyway.
In between checks, Bolinger’s phone lit up with a notification. She had received a Facebook message from someone who had been in the show last year. Bolinger glanced at her phone, then up again and then back down.
“YOU’RE JANET,” the message read.
Bolinger rushed to the audition event page. She didn’t have to scroll far for her name. It rested at the very top.
“Main Cast,” began the list. “Janet- Elizabeth Bolinger.”
Fifty-one other names followed, but Bolinger didn’t bother reading them. She had gotten the part - the part so much bigger than all the others she had received in high school. The part that would prove to everyone in Auburn that she could achieve something by working hard. The part that would have her trading in her leggings and t-shirts for a bra and a slip.
She commented on the cast list: “Currently crying OMG.”
Bolinger didn’t actually cry. In reality, she couldn’t completely process how she felt, but she knew she was excited. She was excited about being able to invite all her sisters to October’s show and getting to perform in a show loved by so many people.
But first, the audition jitters that had briefly consumed Bolinger’s life made way for a pressing need: hunger. She hadn’t been able to eat normally in two days. Maybe she’d dig into a bag of pizza Goldfish or go to her sorority sister’s room and grab some fries.
Tomorrow, the real preparation would begin. She still has a lot to prove.