Andrew Mishler is a senior telecommunications news major and writes ‘Glass Half Something’ for the Daily News. His views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper.
Watching the Super Bowl without rooting for a team can quickly turn the game from exciting to background noise while you engulf mass amounts of chips and queso. So how do you stay interested in the Ravens vs. the 49ers , especially when the option to root against the Patriots no longer applies? Here are some easy tips:
PRETTIEST TEAM COLORS
A true classic. You will often have someone who invokes this method at a Super Bowl party, and it almost never fails to predict the winner. This year is one of easiest ever. You can either go with the Ravens’ slick purple, black and white scheme or the bland, brick-colored look of the 49ers. Even fans of the latter probably hate wearing their team’s jerseys, meaning the Ravens are the easy pick in this catergory.
EDGAR ALLAN POE
This one goes out to all the poets and/or the people who enjoy poetry, as well as football. I know you exist. So if you’re a fan of Poe’s classic poem “The Raven,” then place your cheers based on good literature. No matter what, you can expect people to go a social media blitz with quotes from the poem anyway. No, it won’t make sense if people post “Nevermore” after a Ravens’ victory, but some people will do whatever it takes to make a witty comment. Especially me.
NATE DAVIS
Remember that guy? It’s strange to think some students reading this may be too young to recall Ball State’s record-setting quarterback from 2006-08 (making me feel older than ever before in my four years at Ball State). Before flaming out the NFL, Davis was originally given his first shot in the league with the 49ers, who selected him in the fifth round of the 2009 NFL Draft. Sure, they cut him loose after a year, but at least they thought enough of him to take him. And when it comes to Ball State players going into the NFL, isn’t that all we can ask for?
ATTRACTIVENESS OF PLAYERS
Throw out most of the players on each roster, because this method usually comes down to the pretty-boy quarterbacks. Besides, it’s not like many people are going to look at some rugged 300-pound linemen with beards hanging out of the chinstraps and call them handsome. However, it’s a difficult year for this award. First, you have Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco, who has had a unibrow thick enough to draw comparisons to Bert from Sesame Street for his entire career. Then you have 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who rivals Andrew Luck in terms of being goofy and awkward. A Google Images search shows Kaepernick to have done some shirtless modeling, though. So for this option, go with the 49ers.
THAT'S SO RAVEN
If you’ve come all this way and still can’t settle on a team, then it’s time to get desperate. It’s pretty simple: either you loved or hated The Disney Channel’s “That’s so Raven” as a kid. If you loved the show and all of its bad acting, forced puns and cheesy one-liners, root for the Ravens. If you hated it and had standards for watching TV shows in your adolescent years, you’re a 49ers fan this weekend. It’s that simple. (Side note: if you know this show well enough to know it was set in San Francisco, then give up. It’s the Puppy Bowl for you).
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