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SOCCER: Abby Milillo learning through adversity

After enduring multiple hardships, senior is standing tall

As senior midfielder Abby Milillo went in for a tackle against Bowling Green on Oct. 2, everything went wrong.

A Bowling Green player beat Milillo to the ball, leaving her with nowhere to go. Her legs were taken out from under her, causing her body to flip in the air. Milillo extended her right arm to break the fall, only to twist it underneath her body.

She kept playing, but knew immediately something was wrong. X-rays in the training room showed fractures in the third and fourth metacarpals of her hand.

"I wasn't anticipating having any more setbacks this senior year, my last year," Milillo said. "But it could have been so much worse. I only had to sit out one weekend."

For once in Milillo's life, the breaks didn't take long to heal.

 

A TEENAGER'S TORMENT

Milillo was an eighth-grader when her mom, Gail, got sick. She turned 14 years old three days before it happened.

Gail was out playing racquetball with her friends when she felt ill and went home. Milillo's family would find out later Gail had a brain aneurism on the drive home. Her condition progressively got worse, to the point where Milillo's dad, Steve, called an ambulance.

Milillo said her mom was completely healthy at the time. The brain aneurism Gail had was a freak accident. There were no warning signs. Nevertheless, Milillo said she thought her mom was about to die.

"I didn't really understand [what was going on]," Milillo said. "My parents never got sick. Even if they got the flu, they never showed me or anything. When the ambulance came, I knew it was really serious. I was really scared."

Even when the paramedics showed up, Milillo said she wasn't expecting anything life-threatening. Her guess was dehydration.

"That night, I was pretty young, so my family tried to appease me so I wouldn't worry," Milillo said. "But the next morning my aunt came to my house and said, ‘She's not going to live. Your mom is going to die.'"

Milillo said she was stunned. Less than 12 hours before, she'd been a normal teenager. Now, she had to find a time to say goodbye.

But Gail wasn't ready to go.

Slowly, she recovered. It was something neither doctors nor Milillo could explain.

"It was a miracle," Milillo said.

A month in the intensive care unit followed, along with rehabilitation centers and speech therapy. It was 2 1/2 months before Gail could come home, but Milillo said it didn't end there.

"That was the hardest part, when she came home," Milillo said. "I didn't get to see her every day [in the hospital], so I never got to see how she was and the progress she made. Once she came home, I had it in my face every day."

Part of Gail's brain had been cut out, so she was in headgear. Milillo said everyone had to be very careful with her.

"Her brain was so damaged, it was like having a toddler around," Milillo said. "We had to reteach her how to do things. It was really bad at first. But if you would see her now, you would barely notice."

 

A MOTHER'S INFLUENCE

Now with Milillo in her senior year of college, Gail and Steve haven't missed one of her soccer games all season. Each weekend, they leave their home in Ohio and make the trip to wherever Milillo is playing. It doesn't really matter. Gail said she doesn't ever want to be too far away from Milillo or the team.

"I just want to love every day," Gail said. "That's my whole thing for them. I love every day they have out there, so I just try and be positive."

Positive is a word that seems to define Gail. When coaches and players are asked about their experiences with her, both mention her joyful personality and how good she makes everyone feel around her.

"Her mom serves as an inspiration to everyone," junior defender Skylar Chew said. "Hearing her on the sideline when things are going bad or going good; just that support from her. She always has a smile on her face and is so happy to be where she is. She's definitely an incredible woman. I've never met anyone quite like her."

Although Gail's reach goes far beyond her family, Milillo seems to feel it the strongest. The two talk every day at noon on the phone. It is more than a mother-daughter relationship. Milillo said Gail is her best friend.

But that wasn't always the case.

It took another tragedy in Milillo's life for the bond to form.

Two years after Gail's brain aneurism, things were getting back to normal. Milillo said she was just starting to become stable emotionally when her best friend, Allie Baker, died in a car crash.

"It really pulled the rug out from under my feet," Milillo said. "It was really hard for me because she was one of my oldest friends. We'd gone to school together since we were in kindergarten. It was so unexpected and so unreal. She was only 15 years old."

Milillo said the pain she felt for her friend was deeper than anything she'd experienced. It took her longer to mourn. Milillo wanted to go into a shell, but her mom wouldn't let her.

"She just helped me realize I can either be upset about it for the rest of my life or move on," Milillo said. "There is no guarantee something else bad isn't going to happen. You just have to embrace life and not focus on the negative."

 

A CAREER FINISHED

Negativity isn't usually found in the Milillo family, but it managed to follow Milillo to Ball State.

Before her first ever game as a Cardinal, the coach who recruited her, Michelle Salmon, left for Cincinnati.

Michael Lovett replaced Salmon, and Milillo proved herself to the new coach. She appeared in 16 games and scored one goal.

Just when she was getting established, Milillo was dealt another blow. She completely blew her knee out and dislocated everything. It was her second serious knee injury from soccer and one even her parents thought would end Milillo's career.

"When she had her first knee surgery as a junior in high school, I stressed this sport thing is short lived," Steve said. "With the serious knee injury after her freshman year, I didn't think she'd come back. I seriously probably didn't want her to come back."

But Milillo was determined. She said after all the struggles her mom went through, giving up wasn't an option.

"I had two surgeries associated with that injury, and I thought I would never step on the field again," Milillo said. "There are only a few surgeons in the area who would even touch me. But I think everything that happened with my mom taught me to persevere. If she could come back from serious brain injury, how could I not come back from a knee injury?"

The thought pushed her. While she was out, Ball State fired Lovett and hired a new coach, Craig Roberts. Milillo had to prove herself once again.

When she got back on the field, she said her legs were there, and she could still beat people. She earned 10 starts that season and scored two goals.

Milillo's senior season didn't go as planned. Injuries kept her off the field and her season ended with a loss in the Mid-American Conference Tournament on Sunday.

Yet hours removed from the tears and final moments of college soccer, Milillo sounded just like her mom.

"[My career] hasn't been one that I would call ideal," Milillo said. "But I've made the best friends of my life and have a lot of great memories. I wouldn't change anything for the world."


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