It's the end of the semester, and even as we frantically rush to complete projects and last-minute homework assignments (or at least I'm rushing; you may not be, if you're like my estimable wife and have had all of your work done since the start of March) we are covertly stealing glances ahead at the summer. Summer, when school lets out, and we students are nominally free from the chains of our daily schedules; our tasks may change from weekly assignments to daily jobs, or, if we're lucky, to daily dallies on tropical beaches.
Ah, change. I've been thinking about that recently. Life seems so ephemeral sometimes, doesn't it? Ten minutes ago, we were young high school students; in twenty minutes, we'll be in our forties and sending our own children off to university. And life changes regardless of our desires: like it or not, school will let out in a week and a half; like it or not, a very good family friend died recently (I played my instrument at her funeral yesterday); and whether I like it or not, my wife will go into labor sometime in the next week and a half and we will be blessed with a daughter.
So change happens. What really testifies to character is how we handle change. There are two extremes between which we must steer: Scylla is the unbending resistance to change, accompanied by the desire to remain in control of everything around us; Charybdis is the careless Epimethean acquiescence to anything that happens. The latter lives life with no plans and no ambitions, and we might see him at home in his parents' basement playing World of Warcraft at age thirty; the former is ultimately overwhelmed by change and cannot adjust, and we might see him in a father, God bless 'im, whose daughter has grown up more quickly than he thought possible.
Where do you lie? Myself, I tend toward careless; it is all too easy to take an extra five minutes on the computer out of planned homework time, and then another five, until planned homework time becomes unplanned Internet time. One consequence of my natural inclination is that I am too quick to blow off the plan and embrace whatever impulse changes it. So I have to struggle with that - and yes, to change those habits - in order to be a better husband and father.
But I have met and even grown close to people who are the exact opposite: people who would not change their plans come hell or high water. This sort of person is utterly disoriented when an unforeseen change interrupts plans or causes them to go awry; he is lost and upset without the comfort of control over his environs.
Examine yourself, then, as you get ready to change your schedule for this summer. What are your plans? What will you do when change unlooked-for disturbs them? Do you even have summer plans, or were you just vaguely intending to while away the hours sniffing at the flowers? And as you introspect, consider your flaws and weaknesses: are you impulsive or controlling? Careless or overly thorough?
Ultimately, remember that the balance lies in the middle: anticipate the future, plan and execute your plans, but be flexible and intuitive when your plans are upset. Invest enough in expectations that you don't want to mess them up, but not so much that you are debilitated when they are not perfectly carried out. And above all, become a better person while you enjoy your time away from school.
Write to Neal at necoleman@bsu.edu
Read More
Three Air Jam teams take home the win
October 12, 2012Nineteen teams shimmied, shook and flipped for a sold out John R. Emens Auditorium on Thursday night during the 25th annual Air Jam.
Bill Clinton Speaks at North Central High School
October 12, 2012Former President's Speech Could Have Effect on State Senate Race
