This holiday break was a huge eye-opener for me pertaining to loneliness and how important being in a relationship is. My discovery, you might ask? It's not important. Not remotely.
Being a woman, obviously, it's a lot easier for me to speak in the terms of a girl, and in this specific example, it deals with the issues of my sex. Why do we find ourselves delving into the waters of decent men and mediocre-at-best relationships?
Decent. Reasonable. Level. These are all words that do not seem harmful by any means in our vocabulary, but we need to begin giving ourselves more than that. I often find beautiful, smart, funny and talented women dating a pool of non-motivated, careless, boring or unhappy men. Why?
Some of my dearest friends have found themselves trapped. Sometimes when dating questionable guys, you begin to fear for yourself and for your boyfriend. The level of obsession is so out of control that both your lives have officially been swept from underneath you, and if you lost the romantic relationship you'd have nothing. It just goes to show: Never lose touch of your life outside your significant other. Listening to my dear friend tell me how her boyfriend doesn't love her anymore, and never did, is bad, but when they get back together after that hot mess, it just aggravates me.
Another example was when I was sleeping at a friend's house and was awoken at seven in the morning to the f-word being slammed down my friend's throat by her boyfriend, and her just crying hysterically and not standing her ground. I thought I could physically feel her crumbling to the floor.
Call me Grandma, but I just don't see how people can talk to people who they apparently love like that. I'm not made of stone, words hurt me and all, but there comes a time when you say, "enough is enough."
The worst part of all is that these girls continue to be thrown around in these mixed-up things they call relationships. Why do women wait until they are in a verbally or physically abusive relationship before getting out of a romantic companionship? Is it too risky to get out when it's just not feeling right?
Girls, save yourself and get out before it takes a big chunk out of your life. If you hold onto something that is clearly making you unhappy and miserable, then understand that the break-up will be treacherous and a thousand times more painful than it already is. If you can at all, step out of your normal self and take a peek at the choices you are making with your significant other. Is that the type of person you have always envisioned yourself with?
If you catch yourself running barefoot in the rain, chasing a Ford Focus down your driveway, stop for your own sake. Take a look at the person you are becoming, and ask yourself: Is it really this important? If you are honest with yourself, I guarantee your answer will be "of course not."
Write to Chelsea at cppicken@bsu.edu
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