I've never been big into fads, especially those involvingexercise. I am not anti-exercise by any means. Due to healthscience and rhythm aerobics, I am well aware of the long-termphysical benefits of exercise including avoiding the gain of fortypounds in one semester, which happened my freshman year. I justfeel that if I want to purchase matching athletic brassieres andcotton capri pants with a drawstring, I will do so without usingkickboxing or interpretive dance as an excuse.
Nonetheless, in my relentless quest to keep you, as anindividual, hip to the fitness trends of the decade, I kidnapped mylittle sister's "Yoga for Beginners" video and decided to engage insome hardcore uniting of the body and spirit.
For entertainment's sake, I invited fine human being Matt Pelsorto join me. If you are ever in a situation in which you are aboutto do yoga but are scared of looking foolish, I highly recommendforcing a friend whose legs are roughly nine feet longer than yoursto participate.
The tape started at a slow and easy pace and involved severalinfomercials about "Yoga Journal" magazine and the variousopportunities you have, as one who practices yoga, to buythings.
The sweet voice of internationally acclaimed yoga teacherPatricia Walden followed the wild consumer delirium. She brieflyexplains the history of yoga and tells the viewer to rid the roomof distractions. Not only were my roommate and his girlfriend homeand capable of walking out at any moment to see Matt and me busilydislocating our joints, but my cats were also frolicking about theliving room playing one of their high-impact chase games that endonly when one of them is rendered unconscious. Patty might as wellhave told us to rid the ozone layer of holes.
We went through a series of poses. The first, "mountain pose,"is the foundation for all of the other poses. To achieve mountainpose, one must stand up straight with good posture. That's it.
Mountain pose makes one look more like a tree than a mountain,and the trend continues with "dog pose." In dog pose, the hands andfeet are placed on the floor while the sitting bones are elevated.I have never seen a dog that resembles a lambda before. I'll betthat 5,000 years ago in India while the founders of yoga werethinking up names for the poses, they wrote down every element ofnature in view, threw them into the cobra basket, and just drew thenames randomly.
About halfway through the tape Patty teaches the viewer the"proud warrior pose." This pose dates back to the ancientbeginnings of yoga when the warriors rejoiced because they made ithalfway through their yoga videos.
Perhaps my favorite part of the tape was the deep relaxation atthe very end of the video. I recall undergoing deep relaxation inPEFWL in which an audio tape guided the class on a magical journeythrough the rainbow and to our "special place." I argue thatPatty's techniques are better because they are less bizarre.
But in the end, Matt and I agreed that yoga, despite its quirks,really does make one feel "refreshed and ready to take onanything."
So bring on the ozone layer.
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