SWIMMING IN BROKEN GLASS: Spirituality search for questions, not answers

They ask, "Is Adolph Hitler in heaven?" For some, that's aninfuriating image. However, the theology in If Grace is True: WhyGod Will Save Every Person by Philip Gulley and James Mulhollandfirmly accepts the controversial view that all will experienceheaven.

Since seventh grade, I've been obsessed with salvation. And now,even though I no longer believe in the Judeo-Christian God, I'mstill fascinated.

The Christian God is often characterized as the ultimate lovingfather. Well, would a parent allow their child to lower themselvesinto a vat of liquid steel a la "Terminator 2?" No matter what, theparent wouldn't let them kill themselves, much less submit toeternal torture.

Now, don't hurl the free will argument at me. "Well, they choosehell by not becoming Christians." Nobody would ever choose hell. Inrejecting Christianity, many people are usually not rejecting God,but rather the many examples of some Christians' cruelty andhypocrisy.

According to some Christians' interpretation of the Bible, atleast 80 percent of the world is going to roast in hell -- for someit's much more. And that's what's going to happen to me too.

We oversimplify God. We impose our weak, human judgments on it(not he) and assign our own traits to it. We stick words in themouth we've supplied. We slap on a penis. We develop a self-servingset of fantasies rewarding and punishing. We stick a book on apedestal so we don't have to think for ourselves. And whenever weencounter troubling passages and contradictions we just throw out a"God is mysterious" or a "Well, that's where faith comes in" andthe good old "You're taking it out of context."

But I'm no atheist. That'd just be worshipping an anti-god andscience. There's too many "coincidences" that have happened in mylife for me to just be bumping around randomly.

So what is God? All that is true, all that is love, all that iswonderful, all that is beyond our understanding. I don't have aneasy definition and I don't want one. Spirituality is about findingquestions, not answers. When we've discovered an answer, chancesare we've just found something convenient. And I'm aware of this inmyself. That's why I'm trying to reach out for different ideas tohopefully smash and refine my current line of thinking. If I'm in acontinual state of flux then maybe I can avoid corruption.

Will I eventually return to Christianity? Nothing would make mehappier. But before I can, it needs to be proven to me spiritually— not intellectually. (One can't prove logically that thereis a God.) And it's a task that no one, myself included, canaccomplish. Only God can — if he's there.

I encourage Christians — and everyone else, for thatmatter — to continually challenge themselves with ideas theymight label "dangerous" or "blasphemous." Remember, long ago, Jesusof Nazareth, Martin Luther, and Galileo were all condemned,dismissed as wrong and labeled "demon-possessed." Only incontinually questioning can we come nearer to ever-elusive,never-attainable truth. So be sure to check out If Grace isTrue.

visit http://www.bsu.edu/web/dmswindle

Write to David at swimminginbrokenglass@yahoo.com

 


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