Pay no attention to your government.
Instead, watch news coverage of people whose lives have nobearing on yours whatsoever. You're better off.
Besides, Kobe Bryant, Elizabeth Smart and Laci Peterson are muchmore interesting than say, the still-at-large Osama bin Laden orSaddam Hussein.
Kobe Bryant stands accused of rape — that's interesting,because rape doesn't happen everyday, everywhere around theworld.
But Kobe's case is totally unique. Nobody's ever heard of a"celebrity" rape trial — except maybe Mike Tyson, WilliamKennedy Smith or Oscar-winning director Roman Polanski (if the wilyold codger would only come back here).
Kobe's fate is far more interesting than the fate of Saddam orOsama. You're better off watching Kobe. That way you won't askquestions such as:
"Hey, why can't we catch Saddam or Osama, anyway?"
"Wait, if President Bush's reasons for war were lies, why are westill at war?"
"Come to think of it, why is Bush still the president? Wasn'tClinton impeached for less?"
You can thank your news for providing you with the distractionsyou need. Otherwise, you might commit high treason, questioningyour government like that.
Lest we forget, those of you with Showtime should ignore"entertainment" such as "The Reagans" miniseries, which portrayPresident Reagan as something less than a puritanical, infallible(as he recalls), all-powerful bringer of morning.
Sure, long ago, he supplied Saddam and Osama with weapons andmoney. But let's not bring that up now.
Instead, zone out and watch the major networks'made-for-television movies about Private Jessica Lynch or ElizabethSmart.
Both films go easy on reality, omitting or glossing over thoseicky rape scenes for you, but that's fine. You're getting your rapecontent from the Kobe trial.
Elizabeth Smart -- now there's a story. A Utah girl was abductedand brainwashed by her captors. When she came home, her parentsused the word "miracle."
Sure, Elizabeth went from miracle to spectacle in a nanosecond.But that's fine, as long as you're watching Utah rather than Iraq,where major conflict has been over since May.
So what if more soldiers have died since May than during theconflict? Scott Peterson stands accused of killing his pregnantwife, Laci, last Christmas!
No one in history has ever murdered a pregnant woman (onChristmas, even), so your focus should be on the Petersons, notyour government.
He's a hunky guy, she was a trophy housewife — they werebeautiful people, and this all happened in California, the mostimportant state of all. What more do you need? Go watch now!
The government's actions are nothing compared to this. Besides,you're no pundit. Stop.
Let's find out what Jennifer Lopez is wearing, or check up onthat badass, Eminem. Maybe we'll stop and hang out with BubbaSparxxx.
Well, if you must follow government, take a look at California(again).
Arnold Schwarzenegger just defeated Arnold from "Diff'rentStrokes." Check it out!
You don't really want to hear about Black Hawk helicoptersfalling out of the sky in Iraq. You might come to grips with whatwar actually is, rather than cheering blindly along.
No one wants that. No one wants to see reality over breakfast.That's why your news is sanitized and filled with celebritydistractions. Filler sells better.
Remember: You're better off watching something else.
Write to John at kingseyeland@bsu.edu
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