Eavesdrop on a conversation -- cell phone or otherwise -- thenext time you're waiting at one of the McKinley Avenue shuttle busstops, bored in an English class or walking past the TeachersCollege. Just listen.
You'll hear "well," "for real" and "you know?" gratinglypunctuating the cringe-inducing drivel. And you'll hear "like,"like, a lot. You should want to grab the speaker by the collar,shake her and scream, "Don't you get it? That's so (expletivedeleted) annoying!"
But you don't. You're content to hold your tongue and silentlycurse and bemoan these reincarnated Valley girls (and boys).
But hordes of irritated listeners are on your side. You're allharboring ill will toward this oral garbage -- what the academiacall "discourse markers"-- but despite your feelings, it continues.It thrives.
You don't have the support or reinforcement you need to wagethis kind of war. Those who are supposed to be experts on language-- linguists -- don't seem too worried. They even claim thesemarkers are helpful.
That's too bad.
Mai Kuha, an assistant professor at Ball State, who has adoctorate in linguistics, is one who argues that these words,especially "like," assist their user in communicating more clearlybecause they signal an introduction of new information. Shecontends that speakers who use them consistently "bend overbackwards to meet their listeners' cognitive and social needs."
And recently, a professor at Temple University, Muffy Siegel,who has a doctorate in theoretical linguistics, completed anextensive study enacted to understand the use of "like." Accordingto a Temple press release, her research involved viewingtranscriptions of interviews between honor students from aPhiladelphia high school. She concluded that when the "likes" areremoved, a coherent, clear sentence "almost always" remains.
How wonderful. She's saying that you could still have adelicious, savory salad to eat, but only after you remove thebitter, revolting capers. But most people don't even like capers,so why include them in the first place? �
But now, for the flabbergasted, the good news is this: Not alllanguage professionals are so forgiving.
Frank Gray is a communication studies instructor at Ball Stateand he acknowledged Kuha's and Siegel's assertions. He said thatsometimes "like" can be used as a substitution for other words.But, he said, "I think the other word choices are clearer.
"And ('like') gets on my nerves. I don't mind if someone says itonce in awhile. But if it's used over and over again, it's likeanything else. It becomes distracting and has a sense ofmonotony."
You should now be thankful that you're not alone.
Though linguists will continue to study (rationalize?) ourspeaking behaviors, eventually they'll have to join the rest of thelistening world as it throws its collective hands up and yells,"Enough already!"
So when you hear a student fire "likes" as if she were a machinegun, resist the urge to hold your tongue. Huff scathingly. Startcounting; record the tallies and then place bets with yourclassmates. Perform a wickedly hateful impersonation of her whenyou speak. Plead with your professor to affect a dumbfoundedexpression whenever Mr. Nokia or Ms. Verizon sputtersuncontrollably around a few of these nasty colloquialisms.
But, please -- somehow -- express your distaste.
The future of society doesn't depend on it; but your own sanitymight.
Write to Allyn at aswest@bsu.edu
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