They came out of nowhere about five to ten years ago. Beneaththe radar of the average moviegoer, they crept into our culturalinstitution. They had magazines, television and the Internet. Nowthey have our movie theaters.
Advertisements are now shown before the trailers in movietheaters.
"Of course they show commercials before the movie!" you say.
Well, I am a seasoned veteran of 21 years, and I remember a timewhen, after the houselights went down, the first thing you saw wasa green screen and the words, "The Following Preview Has BeenApproved for All Audiences by the Motion Picture Association ofAmerica."
So why then did they approve running megacorporation commercialsbefore my beloved movies?
The truth to that answer is that it isn't the theater's fault.There exists a three-tiered structure to the movie business:studios, distributors and theaters. The studio makes the movie; thedistributor makes the studio money, and the theater makes you watchcommercials so they can make some money after the distributor makesthe studio money. See? It's perfectly clear.
I'm not fooling myself, though. The utopian ideal of acommercial-free moviegoing experience has never existed. I realizethat Hollywood was plenty commercial way before there were premoviecommercials. Product placement, which is just as offensive, hasbeen around for years.
In the movie "Demolition Man," while America cryogenicallyfreezes its prisoners, John Spartan (Sylvester Stallone) isreleased from stasis to track down a dangerous, escaped villain.Thankfully, we are blessed to know that in the 21st century, thelast restaurant in the universe is Taco Bell.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (a toy commercial inthemselves!) don't prefer penicillin on their pizza. They preferDomino's. Yo! Noid.
E.T. would never have phoned home without those ReesesPieces.
We know Spider-Man drinks Dr. Pepper; the Incredible Hulk drinksMountain Dew; and when zombies take over England, 28 days laterman's thirst will be quenched by a Pepsi vending machine.
Are we, as participants in the cultural catharsis of moviegoing,okay with this?
Thankfully, we are not.
When advertisements first started showing before the trailers,the ads had not yet become a part of theater-going grammar;audiences had not yet decided how they would react to them. Sincethat trend started ten years ago, audiences have made theirdecision.
It used to be, when the lights went down, the theater wentquiet. Not so anymore. Now, when the lights go down, we keeptalking!
Yes! As a culture we have decided that it is okay to makeconversation during the advertisements. We are not attentive as atypical television male hogties an automobile. We don't care aboutthe jeans commercials. We do not sit obedient as a car flips itselfin a fully justified quest for "The Dew."
We, as Americans, have decided not to pay a lick of attention tothat movie screen until after the commercials have ended.
This gives me faith, people. You still buy shoes made insweatshops. You still buy clothes from stores that objectify ouryouth with pornographic catalogues. You still want to watch theVMAs. But at least you won't pay attention to commercials beforemovies!
There is a ray of hope still left in you. Now get down to theShowplace 7 and drown those commercials out.
Write to Ben at bbmcshane@bsu.edu
visit www.classicalgeektheatre.com
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