 |
| Aleshia Haselden is a sophomore journalism education major and writes 'The Price of Tea in China' for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper. |
It is a dark day, indeed, when one realizes that he or she is turning into an intellectual old fart.
Let me first stress that there is nothing wrong with being an intellectual old fart. Many of my dearest friends are or have several traits characteristic of intellectual old farts.
It is just a bit unnerving when one day you wake up and realize you no longer find the prospect of extreme, intense fun (e.g. bungee jumping from aircraft, playing chicken with oncoming semi trucks, and shopping at your Muncie Wal-Mart on a weekend) appealing because, quite frankly, you would rather do crossword puzzles and attend conventions related to your anticipated profession that discuss the changing face of the American columnist.
For me, that time is now.
The realization started about two weeks ago while watching a video called "Ten Things Every Child Needs" in Educational Psychology. This video, as one might imagine, features a variety of people of a variety of ages who perform tasks that include one another.
As I took notes, I quickly learned that no matter what the people were doing, I always perceived the task to be "interacting." The mother fed a bottle to ("interacted with") the baby, the teachers and parents talked ("interacted"), etc. One can only imagine what my notes would look like had one of the children gotten sick on another. ("Mom! Jimmy interacted on me!")
Since "interact" is one of those great, vague, all-encompassing words, much like "various" and "ideals," that are useful in note taking when the student has no desire to ever remember exactly what was covered in class on a particular day, I wrote off this soaring leap into intellectualism as a freak accident and vowed never to use the word "interact" ever again.
Then only a short while later while perusing the Internet, I learned that Dave Barry, my most favorite author and human being, for that matter, will be speaking at a college campus that is only a short five-hour drive away.
I immediately achieved a high level of freaking out in the form of giddy leaps and squeals. I was what I imagine a Backstreet Boys fan is like, should I ever choose to associate myself with Backstreet Boys fans.
Then it dawned on me. The Backstreet Boys are a world-famous pop phenomenon containing young men with legs far nicer than mine. Dave Barry is a 50-something newspaper columnist who wins the heart of every man, woman and child by successfully and artfully publishing jokes about bodily functions. And I'm swooning over Dave.
I suppose to everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn, turn, turn. But all Byrds lyrics aside, I'm being ripped violently from being a teenager. As my 19th year of life approaches, I find myself wearing pinstriped pantsuits. I find myself developing a deep concern for the condition of my lower back. I find myself, to my everlasting shame, enjoying and singing along to Rod Stewart songs.
I'm positive that I am not alone in this ordeal. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of old age, I will fear no gum disease.
Now if you'll pardon me, I must interact a multivitamin.
Write to Aleshia at aahaselden@bsu.edu
Read More
Three Air Jam teams take home the win
October 12, 2012Nineteen teams shimmied, shook and flipped for a sold out John R. Emens Auditorium on Thursday night during the 25th annual Air Jam.
Bill Clinton Speaks at North Central High School
October 12, 2012Former President's Speech Could Have Effect on State Senate Race
