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| Linda Rabadi is a senior piano major and writes 'Talking About a Revolution' for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper. |
By my senior year of college, I have found that committing to a few certain relaxing rituals saves my sanity.
Tuesdays I have coffee with some of my girlfriends, Sundays I give myself a facial and Thursdays I go out to the bars.
The bars give me a chance to catch up with friends and the opportunity to sit back and amuse myself by practicing my cultural anthropology field techniques.
Last Thursday, however, my most common observation was quite disturbing: Women are still incredibly competitive with each other.
It is not true to say that this competitiveness is limited to the bars. On TV, in class, walking through campus, in magazines, at the mall, even in circles of friends, competition among women is not only common, but also encouraged with example after example of women never getting along.
Countless plots for films, books, commercials and songs revolve around the notion of women against women, and people accept this as the norm. I refuse to sit here today and blame the media as the sole reason for competition among women. They certainly do not help the situation by plastering this image all over the place, but it is time women take responsibility for their actions and refuse to allow this negativity among women to carry on.
It is nearly impossible to walk through a crowd and not receive those looks from other women. Those looks will take apart your outfit, zone in on your insecurities and attempt to break down any confidence with a nudge and whisper to her friend: "Who does she think she is?"
Approaching a woman as your enemy not only deprives you of the possibility of a number of positive experiences, but also holds you down to a lower place in society. Because of the way our patriarchal world is structured, all women are looked upon as one entity, just as people of the same religion, ethnic or racial background, age, socioeconomic class and sexuality are.
In order to move to a world that truly celebrates equality, we must take pride in our groups and find strength within them to demand respect. If we cannot find strength and pride in our group and if we do not stand up for each other, we allow the oppressor to dominate once again.
Promoting sisterhood can occur only after a certain amount of personal evaluation has taken place. Allow yourself to observe those small actions that you take for granted, such as a snide side comments and gossiping. Then try to remove these negative actions from your life.
Use the newly discovered time in a more positive fashion: Try talking to your friends about an interesting discussion in class that day, world politics or this topic.
If you are in a social setting where a new woman enters the scene, don't cast her out by whispers and glances; extend your hand and learn more about her. More often that not, she will truly appreciate this gesture.
I do not mean to sound self-righteous. At times I find myself competing against other women, but by being aware of this and making it a goal to promote sisterhood, my rate of occurrence is less.
More importantly, I feel a strong bond to all my sisters and take pride in being a woman.
Write to Linda at 001srabadi@bsu.edu
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