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| Allyn West is a junior journalism major and writes 'Charmingly Dishevelled' for the Daily News. His views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper. |
There are certain, inalienable "things" that are undeniably American: the Midwest, baseball, jazz, military spending and Bruce Springsteen.
That's only a short list.
But no single abstract or physical entity symbolizes America more than McDonald's. It's not just a fast-food restaurant; it's the way life should be -- convenient, lukewarm and fattening.
And absolutely delicious.
Over spring break, three friends and I traversed the American Northeast. Rumbling on 90 in a Ford Escape overflowing with youthful anticipation and optimism, we made extended stops in Buffalo, Boston and a few small fishing villages in Canada.
As our odometer rolled unflinchingly forward, from time to time, the miles would deplete our strength and we'd grow weary. Luckily, on most major U.S. highways, truck plazas and rest areas abound.
It is a rare occurrence to see such a locale without a McDonald's franchise -- or a Burger King at the very least.
The McDonald's empire boasts 30,000 restaurants, which, according to its Web site, serve 46 million customers in 118 countries each day.
So, we had faith that whenever our metaphorical gas was low, The Golden Arches would appear like a beacon of hope over a wooded, snowy peak or around a concrete bend and replenish our spirits.
If an "M" sighting coordinated with the necessity to put more fuel in the vehicle, within minutes, we'd stand in line behind a typical overweight man and a middle-aged businesswoman flanked by two noisy, pushy children. Mere obstacles. Hunger, joy and visions of a pimply, teen-aged cashier with expensive orthodontia danced in our heads.
According to its Web site, McDonald's began advertising an eight-item "Dollar Menu" on November 1, 2002. Keeping with the theme, on this menu, two of their trademarked apple pies are available for a dollar.
We think this is just fine. Regularly, an individual apple pie is $1.13.
So, a few hours from Buffalo, as the Escape rolled over a salt- and snow-covered interstate, we made a trek into an Exxon/McDonald's rest area with the intent to fill the gasoline tank and continue our established, precedented and regular consumption of those delicious pastry-and-filling confections.
But, the kind folks in New York (and Massachusetts, too) have not yet implemented this "dollar menu." I'm sure you can imagine our dismay.
Our mildly attractive yet under-age cashier bore the bad news and then stood by her decision to charge us for each individual pie. We had little choice but to turn up the charm.
Buckling under our winks and urging, as soon as her manager turned his back, Amanda tossed four small, red boxes into a to-go bag and waved farewell.
We quickly consumed our good fortune and strode toward a full tank and the open road. In another four hours, or when the needle became buried, we'd be at the next truck plaza, hassling a harmless, unsuspecting employee into giving us the best deal of our short, young lives.
Write to Allyn at aswest@bsu.edu
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