My Bucket of Parts: Instant messaging addictive, drama rampant online

So, they decided to call this the information age, right? (Whoever "they" are. )

I suppose "they" could consist of Bill Gates, the owner of our souls through programming, and Al Gore, the man that invented the Internet.

And since we're all stumped about what to call this decade, I guess the information age works - and here is my reasoning: AOL Instant Messenger.

You can sign online and, without really talking to anyone, you can click on a screen name and find out way too much about a person.

From away messages to buddy info, you can read new insights into the drama that's encircling your friends - whether it's a medical problem (the kind that makes you not want to stand near them) or someone's full apartment address, phone number and a cell phone number.

It gets even better when people have poor spelling. They're having a bad week and spell a couple of words wrong (dumb typos) and use bad punctuation, and because of those, it's very hard to take those messages seriously.

"I wilk (will) never trutst (trust) anyne (anyone) agiane (again)!"

It's either they are fuming and they can't concentrate on the keyboard, or they're smarter than we think and they're using Old English. Either way, everyone has that one friend that has a string attached and when you pull it, all that comes out is complaining.

"Oh, the pure and utter, complete, insane drama!"

New from Fisher Price, you're very own Drama King or, for the little ladies, a Drama Queen. With AOL Instant Messenger, those Drama Kings and Queens can be digital. I think when we die, God gives out Academy Awards - AOL Instant Messenger allows us to really bring down the house.

"My life is horrible. I just found out that I have a growth that's painful and I can't sit down and that my grandparents are really my parents and that I didn't stop eating baby food until I was ten. If you want to call me here is my full address and both phone numbers so you can reach me. I'm bleeding, I can't stop the bleeding."

Then you Instant Message them and ask, "Dear friend, what on Earth is wrong?"

"I have a headache," they type back.

And the award goes to...

Also, if you don't have the guts to talk to someone face to face or on the phone, Instant Messenger can become a true relief when you need to have an argument or if you just want to ask someone on a date. If the conversation is really good, and I mean really, really good, you can print it out and show all your friends, or hold on to it and use it as blackmail.

Granted, I'm playing devil's advocate with this, but there are tons and tons of benefits about Instant Messenger and other programs that are similar. It cuts long distance bills in half, you get to use pretty colors and it has cool noises. You can also send pictures and other files with these programs.

Awesome. Too bad it's also addictive.

What homework?