John King
King's Eye Land
3.4.02
Music industry should give back to fans
I began to harbor a healthy dislike for modern rock sometime around the birth of Matchbox 20, Third Eye Blind and Seven Mary Three (actually the same band). My disdain heightened after Napster died, mainly because I am cheap and broke -- a deadly combination.
I have since found free music elsewhere. Using the left jab of Morpheus and the Little Mac Star Punch of a CD burner, I continue to fight valiantly against the Bald Bull of the Record Industry, an entity that exists mainly to overcharge consumers and allow the downtrodden artists of the world to live in platinum houses.
I've bought so many CDs, I want a reward. If music had special offers involving proof-of-purchase seals, I'd have more useless trinkets than my grandmother. (Imagine a house infested -- bulging, even -- with bric-a-brac. That's my grandma's. Given the chance, knick for knack, I could take her down.)
At an early age (last week), I began to ponder the fundamental difference between payola and whatever word is used to describe the means behind the promotion and phenomenal success of bands such as Creed. (Payola is an illegal payment to radio stations made by record labels who want their records to get more airplay. Duh.)
A brief review of the last decade of modern music reveals that most of it should be burned. Mind you, I'm the guy who just went through a brief and ill-advised AC/DC binge (it's still going, actually), so I'm not saying my taste is any better than anyone else's. Then again, yes I am. If you like the following bands, you probably have bad wallpaper, too:
Creed (Slogan: "Admitting we're Christian rock would kill our record sales.") -- What are these guys thinking? The fact that this band is Christian doesn't bother me; I just want Creed to own up to it. The more these guys take themselves seriously, the more I don't. Try a different key for once and quit putting water in all of your videos.
Limp Bizkit (Slogan: "We sold out so long ago, we got paid in wampum.") -- The lead singer thinks he's cool. I'll admit, wearing a baseball cap backwards does increase his cool factor, but the fundamental difference between -168 and -167 isn't a lot. Women like him, too. I have a funny feeling he doesn't like women, though. I don't care, I just wish he'd own up to it.
Puddle of Mudd (Slogan: "We're badd.") -- A single lyric got this band noticed. So did the extra "D." When I think of great lyrics, I don't foresee Puddle of Mudd's "I love the way you smack my ass," being considered genius.
Staind (Slogan: "There is no 'E' in band.") -- This band is right. It's been a while -- since we heard something original. I hear obvious Pearl Jam and Tool influence here, which is fine until I realize I could be listening to Pearl Jam or Tool instead.
Kid Rock (No slogan, only redneck drooling) -- According to this slackjaw, he "ain't seen" his. Whatever he is looking for, at least he knows it belongs to him. Perhaps he should talk to MC Hammer, who has his own, but you can't touch it.
The music industry has enough money to buy a small country. The time has come for it to give something back. Prizes, rewards or even rebates would be great for consumers.
I'd even go for yard gnomes at this point. If my grandma listened to Puddle of Mudd, she'd probably want the same thing (the gnomes, not the ass-smacking). I don't know about Grandpa.
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